sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
