I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
