She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
