You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
