I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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