I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie