I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
found the other keg... it's in the tree
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.