i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.