how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
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I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....