watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
