I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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