At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
