we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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