I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Even my vagina gasped.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
