I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The power of my boobs compel you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
