i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize