There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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