we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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