She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
