I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me