What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
