Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
