you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
