new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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