when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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