"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I didn't notice because vodka
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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