My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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