Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize