I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
