i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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