And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
