It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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