Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize