Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
