did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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