I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
