How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Houston, we have a blender
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
