I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
