Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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