____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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