I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They took my balls.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
