apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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