So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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