I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?