and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches