xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today