maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???