If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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