then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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