K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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