Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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