i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
