Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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