A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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