so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
