Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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