i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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