Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize