she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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