So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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