and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
