so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
