Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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