I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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