I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
